Back Pain & Bedsharing

Here’s a little story about space.

Once upon a time, there was a little bed that looked like this:

And then one day, it looked like this:

How did that happen? (Note: Don’t add picture here.)

So a few days later, there was a bigger bed that looked like this:

And then, for about a million good reasons it looked like this:

And then about 3 months later, it looked like this:

Now, I actually consider myself pretty savvy when it comes to geometry and math and stuff, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how every night at 7pm the bed looks like this:

and manages to look like this only a few hours later:

Every night.

I get a lot of emails on “best” sleep position, so I usually refer everyone to this post (Nightowl*), but I realize now (of course) that the “ideal” sleeping position has to be temporarily forgoed when there are hoggers, ahem, I mean babies sleeping with you.

Why am I writing this post this morning? Would you like a little more back story?

We are a baby-carrying (as opposed to baby stroller or baby wearing) family most of the time. We have about a 25 pound baby. As you’ve seen from my baby carrying posts, you want to make sure to not thrust your hips forward and hike your shoulders (read more here) but there are other mal-alignments I didn’t cover.

You also don’t want to thrust your hip out to the side like this:

There is also one more poor baby-holding alignment that I am always guilty of. I call it the rib slide and it looks like this:

That sneaky rib slide is pretty subtle but it adds up. This posture means I'm trying to lessen my arms work by holding him on my ribs. Not very spine-friendly.

I seem to carry the kid more on my left (stronger), even though I switch every few minutes. He sits more comfortably on my left -- something that I have conditioned him to do probably, so now he already has kind of a preference for twisting left to look forward. {See how simple it is to create bias in your kids’ alignment even when you have all the info and the intention?}

So, back to last night. After a long week and not a lot of sleep, I woke up with a spasmy feeling in my bottom rib. I could tell, right away, that is was just the accumulation of tensing to stay on the edge of the bed, fatigued muscles, and this dopey position I had fallen asleep in while nursing.

The reason sleeping on your side isn’t that great is because it causes the rib slide. It would be one thing if you could balance it out by flipping over, but you can't do that when you’ve got a baby. And last night, my muscles weren’t going to take it any longer. Actually, it’s one's spine that can’t take it, which is why one's muscles spasm to protect it from one's behavior.

One meaning me.

I needed something to keep my ribs from rib-sliding into the bed. Solution: I grabbed a cloth diaper (which are handy for EVERYTHING and always lying around) and folded it a good height (a few inches thick) and slid it under my ribs until I found the perfect place for the spasm to relax. Ahhhhhh.

P.S. I had a great sleep for about 3 minutes, until I was punched in the face. Again. My son is a bruiser, and evidence points to it not being genetic (click).

Some alignment tips for bed sharing families:

1. Prop up your ribs with a folded cloth, diaper, or hand towel. Note that pillows, blankets, and long towels aren’t great when you’re sharing the bed with a little one. The smaller the prop the better.

2. If you’re sharing the bed with another adult (hey, how’d YOU get in here?) then switch places every night. This is not only good for the big people, but also gets the little one used to switching it up. It's all about eliminating habits! And bonus: Switching it up is better for your mattress too!

Interested in bed sharing with your baby? My doctor-recommended these safety guidelines for bed sharing (she bed-shared with her baby too!) (click).

I would totally write more but I'm so sleepy for some reason. Plus it's hard to see out of my double black eyes...

*The post Nightowl can be found in the book Alignment Matters.