What the Queef?

If you're interested in reading more on ideas presented in the article below, I suggest reading Diastasis Recti. If you'd like movement instruction via video, start with Smart Digestion.

I can’t believe I’m about to write this post, but the Universe has sent me three separate inquiries in the last month, so I’m taking it as a sign.

A queef is the very scientific term for the fart-like noise your vagina makes as it allows air out of your body.

I’m so glad that sentence is over.

Based on the inquiries, it appears that people know what a queef is, they just don’t know why a queef is. How’d the air get in there in the first place?

Because I decided not to include any stick-figures with this post, you’ll have to use your imagination. So imagine a hypodermic needle. Or, wait. That’s a safe enough image.

So look at this hypodermic needle. At the end of the needle is a tiny hole. That tiny hole is your vagina. (You’re welcome.)

To pull fluid (or air, in this case) into the syringe, the plunger must move away from the needle, creating a sucking action. The same thing happens in the body, only this sucking action comes from the displacement of your pelvic and abdominal contents -- your organs -- toward your diaphragm.

This vacuum-like action can occur in various situations, like during a yoga class or other, um, moments. Inversions, ranging from a head stand to any time your hips are elevated even the slightest bit above the rib cage (like when you’re, uh, on your elbows and knees) are notorious for the organ shift. This mechanism is also exacerbated if you’re sucking your stomach in at the same time. Because many people confuse abdominal activation with "sucking it in", they're often coupling this sucking habit with the effect of gravity when lying on their back and backwards tilting their pelvis. In this case, even the smallest posterior tilt can get the air-a-flowin’ toward your head.

The next question would be is this organ movement normal? The answer is, while organ displacement is certainly common in various activity that require inversions (like in exercise class) the displacement is a good indicator that your core muscles are not stabilizing your abdominal contents very well. The human body should be able to move around in all sorts of positions without sloshing the organs, but this organ-stillness requires appropriate strength. When the pelvis and ribcage are neutral to each other, the core muscles should respond correctly to the change in loads and offer support to these important body parts. If not aligned properly, the muscles don't respond to the new position and the core becomes a static container with moving content.

Maybe you’re also interested in the actual fart itself. Why is it that you can hold your gas in during a sensitive moment in, say a job interview, but not a stop a queef? It’s simply because the sphincter muscle of the rectum can close all the way but the vaginal sphincter does not. There’s always a bit of space there. Like storage. The good news is, you’re probably not inverting or lying on your back sucking in your stomach during a job interview.

If you’re queefing a lot to the point that yoga or pilates class is uncomfortable (not to mention embarrassing), you need to check in with your sucking your stomach in habits and really watch your rib displacement. If you’re a rib thruster (read this) when you’re standing, your likely thrusting upside down as well. Try a RIBSDOWNward Dog* and keep your junk silent during class.

An all-time career high with this one, don’t you think?

I dedicate this post to my favorite poet, Friday Lubina.

*Instead of reaching your ribcage toward the mat, which shears the spine and reduces the flexion of the shoulder, keep the front of your ribcage in the same plane as the front of the pelvis. It will be a whole new world!