This is a true story. Really.
The other day, I was wandering through the pumpkin patch when I stumbled upon these two Jack O' Lanterns. They were having coffee and talking about their day (you know, like girlfriends do), when I heard one start to talk about some pelvic floor issues she was having.
Here's a picture of the two of them from behind:
If you guessed this one:
Did you notice the lack of lumbar curvature on her as noted by her flat pumpkin back and pumpkin butt?
As I got closer, I saw the problem:
And then, I got even closer, which I'll admit is pretty rude.
I became sure of her problem.
Her Jack O' sacrum, a movable bone in her Jack O' pelvis, was sinking forward into her body. A healthy and strong pelvic floor requires the sacrum to be nutated, where the lowest part of the sacrum is farther outside the pelvis than the top part. What little Ms. Pumpkin has here is a counter-nutated sacrum, or when the coccyx (tip of the tailbone triangle) is deeper in the body than the top of the sacrum.
This poor pumpkin's sacral position had given her a short, tight, and weak pelvic floor. This mechanical cause of pelvic floor disorder and is actually worsened, ironically, by a common pelvic floor "strengthening" exercise called the Kegel -- especially when done by someone with weak and/or tight gluteal muscles.
So, I told all of this to the Kegel O' Lantern. She laughed at my ridiculous explanation to her issue.
"Kegels causing pelvic floor issues? What are you some sort of crazy Women's Health Witch??"
Her laughing caused an unfortunate accident.
She decided to hear me out.
I said, "I don't have time to tell you everything right now, but read these blogs (I had my computer in the pumpkin patch) and they'll get you up to speed with the latest pelvic floor information":
And, to make things even more creepy, I checked out her friend:
Nice behind-rind. No problems there at all. Looks like this Squat O' Lantern has things under control...including her bladder. Turns out she had been following my How-To-Squat blog for the last three months. Nice job!
How to squat: Click here
My work there was done so I went on my way!