Alignment Haiku

Last week (or was it two weeks ago?) I found a whole bunch of my Spinal Alignment DVDs in a box.

My Spinal Alignment Kit is one of my all-time favorite programs.

The haiku is one of my all-time favorite poems.

Naturally, you can see why I needed to have a Aligned and Well Facebook haiku contest to give these DVDs away.

Real haiku is actually way more sophisticated then the 5-7-5 syllable style we all learned in 7th grade, but since my sense of humor (and hair styles) failed to develop much since then, I’m OK with whatever you got.

These were the Facebook winners:

Leaky bladder and

achy hips fixed with Katy's

quick alignment tips

There's one thing I know.

Posture is not alignment.

See, I'm listening.

tuck chin not pelvis

alignment exercises

barefoot walks daily

When you wear high heels

I just see adult diapers

(I know you sneeze pee)

Once I had a butt

Now I have a little boy

Two cheeks, deflated

Posture, schmosture, would

you rather look pretty or

live Aligned and Well?

Popped a hernia.

Worked on shoes, gait, stance, and squats:

guts now stay inside!

Doing more Spring cleaning has revealed a few more disks to give away. If you’d like a chance to win one, just throw down a haiku right quick in the comments section below. I'll pick the winners later this week.

I’m feeling creative. Hear me out.

Katy’s pelvic floor haiku:

Steamy cup of tea

Drips contentedly downward

Like a full bladder

Shouldn’t have had that

cold coffee and bran muffin

without doing squats

“Just one more Kegel!”

she cries, tucking her pelvis,

clenching her butt cheeks.

Feeling bloated now

Passing gas is difficult.

Sqeeaark. Prbht. You hear that?

Vertical shin bones

open up the gluteals

like Bloomin' Onion.

Note: Send Outback Steakhouse a dollar for using term "Bloomin' Onion."

So many people,

with little understanding

of “neutral pelvis.”

Dear Kegel Queenie,

Squatting in your tiara?

I hope you are well!

Someone stop me, please.